There really are monsters under your bed and in the closet

Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash
There really are monsters
under your bed,
waiting to grab you
in the middle of the night
while you're sleeping.

There really are  monsters
who sometimes, 
when you're in bed staring 
at the ceiling,
stare at you from the closet
with glowing eyes.

There really are morlocks
who live in the sewers,
who reach out of manholes
by the crosswalk.

There really are gremlins
that chew the wires
inside our machines
and spit all over
the microchips.

There really are bigfoots
in the forest who go
into your cooler
to steal your beer.

There really are ghosts
in old houses that float,
waving their arms,
howling and opening
your cabinet doors
because opening cabinets
for the dead is interesting.

There really are demons
you see the moment
you're about to die
if you've done all the wrong
They crawl on the walls
and the floor toward you.
I've heard of one
that possesses the bodies of folks
behind the wheel of a car
so it can make them crash.
You'll never know when
they will visit.

There really are creepy bugs
and spiders with super long legs
that exist solely to hop on you
when you least expect it.

There really are reptiles
that pretend to be famous people,
wearing suits and crowns
and military clothing.

There are vampires 
determined to brood,
who in a hundred years
haven't learned to set up
their castle with electronic devices.

There's a spirit that laughs
when you try to wave sage at it.
It waits till you're done waving
the sage and have closed the door.
Minutes after, it farts,
unleashing a fart storm
unimaginable since times of old,
you scream,
but no one is there to save you
and the poison gas. green and brown,
fills the room.

Be wary human. Don't stray 
too far away from the fire,
don't look beyond
the glow of the flashlight,
don't close yours eyes.

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